Hey Look, a post in which my head explodes and I become an Alcoholic... in that order.

I am a giant spaz. GIANT. Pretty much anything that happens or that I have to deal with stresses me out and then I have panic attacks until everything is resolved. This morning I was on hold with my college financial aid office for like, 900 minutes, because I needed to make sure that since I just changed my WHOLE class schedule, and I was 3 units short of full-time until I get added to the two classes in which I'm on the waitlist (URGGG), my loans wouldn't turn their back on me making me unable to pay for school in my second to last semester. This is most likely all my fault, but I'd like to examine the ways in which it’s not ENTIRELY my fault.

My school decided to move the location of one of my classes without letting me know, which is a bitch move, School, BITCH MOVE. In the whole history of my being at this school, I've always taken classes in the same building or the building right next it. FOR TWO YEARS. I transferred in and after finally deciding to be a psych major, the majority of my classes have been in the psych building. I really only know THIS part of campus. I haven't had to traipse around finding this building or running off the print shop, or bookstore, or student union. I understand that these acts may enhance my college experience, but you know, when I have to work three jobs in order to pay for said college experience, I'm too damn tired to do much exploring. Teach me, and let me go home.

Anyway, so, the school decided to move my last class of the day ACROSS CAMPUS which, if you think about it is like almost a mile and a half away. No way are my midget legs carrying me to a foreign part of campus I've never been to in ten minutes. No way, I say. I found this horrifying bit of news out three days ago, and this of course sent me into a panic. Since no one could give me any GOOD ideas (though I did get suggestions such as: buy a scooter. Buy a rocket pack for the scooter. Steal one of those golf carts campus security drives around in. Seduce and sleep with campus security... to get free rides in said carts. Learn to fly. NOT HELPFUL!!!) and my panic attack was full blown, my anxiety grew giant hands and clicked the "drop" button next to the course name.

My panic subsided for all of ten seconds, until I realized I really effing needed that class and then another typhoon of anxiety washed over me. Now I had to search for THREE classes to make up for the ONE I just dropped. Of course, a week before school starts all of the good classes are basically full. At this point I'm shaking my fists through my anxiety attack at my irrational anxiety induced solution to drop the last class. After an hour of searching and being denied and searching I opted to waitlist on Human Sexuality (which is also not in a building I know of, but is relatively closer and there is a 4 hour gap during which I have PLENTY of time to leave one class and find that one... plus I've already taken it, and loved it, so it should be easy), and enrolled in an online course called, get this, Nature and World Culture. SHOOT ME. JUST GET IT OVER WITH WHEREISYOURSHOTGUN? I didn't find a third class, but I have space in my schedule next semester to fit it in, so I'm ok.

The one class I dropped was a 6 unit course, leaving me three short of the necessary 12 to fulfill my loan agreement. So while, I did possibly find replacements, I was still on the waitlist for one of the replacements (ps, I was already on a waitlist for another class I desperately need to graduate) meaning I'm still 3 units short of my loan money and must now kiss my dreams of getting a PhD goodbye, drop out of college and get a job at Mackers (that's McDonalds for all of you who have never had a roommate move to Australia for six months then come back speaking something that's totally not English, mate).

So, back to waking up this morning with an elephant sitting on my chest. I immediately dialed the number for the Financial Aid office, got kicked around through four different people, each time I was placed on hold the psycho-killer vein on my forehead enlarged twice its size, and then finally was placed on hold for 900.. or maybe 20... minutes. This let loose a new set of anxiety as I'm trying to remember how many minutes I have left, and if I go over those minutes how I will pay for the overages (stripping, hooking, drug selling, Mackers in that order). By the time the woman answered the phone the psycho-killer anxiety had crept into my voice and I'm sure I sounded quite insane as I babbled this whole story to her very quickly in a squeaky syrupy voice.

Then, the woman said, "Don't worry. We won't drop you until September, goodbye".

A three day long anxiety attack took only took 8 words to fix. So after I hung up, I opened and drank an entire bottle of Two Buck Chuck at 10:30am.

Let’s recap. The SCHOOL fucked up. My FRIENDS gave me horrible suggestions. My ANXIETY grew hands and dropped classes. The SCHOOL put me on hold.

It’s not my fault.

Now I need to go buy more wine before my roommate notices a whole bottle is missing.