The (Deprivation) Situation

I feel like I’m depriving myself of a key experience and that my deprivation may lead to being isolated from the rest of the world forever. There are certain things that happen in life, that if you don’t make yourself aware of or take part in, define you and your ability to relate to your fellow humans.

For example, if I were to completely ignore 9/11 some would call me ignorant, un-American, and even anti-social. Whenever there was a conversation about this life changing, history making, culture defining day, and I were to withdraw from it or say that I knew nothing of the subject, people would begin to look at me differently. Perhaps people would begin to value my opinions and political views less. Perhaps they would choose not to be around me because the idea that I choose not to participate in an event which is shaping this country every day would be too much for them to bare. The world would change around and without me until I would be left alone on my own little 9/11-less island.

The phenomena I have wrongfully opted out of which is changing this world with every Tweet, every article, every episode is that of MTV’s Jersey Shore. I have not seen a single episode or subscribed to a single cast member’s Twitter, nor have I set my Google Alerts to inform me every time one of them is mentioned on the internet. I know, I know. How could I? How can I be a 20-something living in America and not know what a JWow is? Don’t I know what Snooki’s hair style and orange skin means to this culture? And what the hell am I doing if I’m not aware of The Situation?! Do I want to live alone in a Guido-less world forever? What is wrong with me?

I ask myself these very same questions every time a post about them appears on Jezebel or Gawker or one of my favorite bloggers mentions them and I skip over it. I am being left behind. The world is being shaped by these Jersey Gods and I am standing on the outside looking in. Maybe I should just dive in and watch the whole first season and catch up with the second season. I’m just afraid of losing brain cells and what the spray on tans and tanning booths will do to my skin. These are such silly worries, I know. Maybe I should just do it. Maybe the brave new Fist Pumping World will let me rejoin them if I do. It’s not too late is it?

I did watch the youtube clip where the midget whose hair is as tall as she is gets laid out by a PE teacher. Maybe this can be like a passport of sorts or the secret word at the New World’s front door? “what’s the secret word, Outsider?” “Snooki got socked by a meat head”.

I don’t know. I’m just scared; scared of becoming orange, and scared of being left behind. What to do, what to do?

*Note: while I really don't subscribe to this fad, I do seem to know quite a lot about it. The clip of Snooki getting punched is disgusting and though I poke fun of it here, it is really not a laughing matter in reality... and this is supposed to be reality TV, right? Also, I don't really believe you can really compare 9/11 and Jersey Shore, but in today's culture its almost possible... which is sad. Sad, I tell you.