This week's episode of Desperate Housewives finds Gabrielle Solis back at the top of her world and rich once more. In one scene, she brings her cream puff of a daughter into a homeless shelter to have her work with the poor and appreciate what she's got. She asks a priest to gift her daughter with this enriching experience as she cringes at a smelly old man and scurries away from the community soup kettle.
While my dream is of course to be some lucky man's trophy wife and float forever in his swimming pools of Benjamins; I hope to at least maintain some sense of reality.
Therefore, if you, Spinner of My Fate, grant me one exuberantly wealthy husband, I vow:
1.) Never to forsake Target. I'll always remember my roots (though I doubt I'll shop there too often... without wearing a big sunglasses and a hoodie)
2.) To spray smelly homeless people with only the highest quality mace when they get too close, instead of that cheap stuff that smells OH so bad.
3.) Spend every Thanksgiving working at a soup kitchen... or at least send my personal assistant in my place.
4.) Teach my kids the value of a dollar by making them get a part time job as soon as they're 15. I'll place all earnings straight into my personal bank account... I mean, their college funds.
5.) Give any underprivileged children I can find (as long as they don't steal my jewelry) jobs doing my laundry, and waxing my Porsche to keep them off of the streets.
Ok, so maybe I'm beginning to understand Gabrielle's position just a little bit better. It must be tough being a Trophy Wife. Who would of thought?
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