There is something about me that turns straight men gay and makes gay men want to take me home. Ok, so maybe I don't TURN all men gay. Just the tiny little Asian ones, but seriously, who wants those ANYWAY?!
I can still remember the first time I realized I had a secret power over gay men. I had just turned 18, and my friends were taking me to my very first gay club so that they could get some ass while celebrating my birthday. I didn't mind though; I thought it would be better than going to a straight club, where with my luck, I'd undoubtedly get a roofie slipped into my water and end up being kidnapped by a large black man.
After hours of sweaty dancing, my now drunk ass friends and I went outside to the smoking area to take a fag (what else do you call a cigarette at a gay club?) break and while I was standing there, minding my own business, this dude and his posse of very cute faeries (and one lesbian) walk over to me and begin to very obviously stare. I swear, gay men have NO shame.
I wearily smiled at the leader of the pack, who took this as an invitation to grope me.
"Oh my God your boobs are so amazing. Are they real?"
And of course, stunned and a bit drunk I said, "yes of course they are!" He then proceeded to grab as much of each one as he could in each of his hands and then ask permission to feel them.
"Oh my god, they are so nice. I fucking love your boobs" and then, all at once his friends reached out and started squeezing and caressing my boobs, including the lesbian.
My friends were too drunk to do any more than stare on in a mixture of surprise and jealousy so I didn't even try and as for help in getting those breast zombies off of me. Instead I stood there calmly, puffing on my stoge as they got their fill. They continued to feel me up for a few more minutes, a few rouge hands finding their way to my ass in the process. Finally, satisfied, they thanked me and told me how gorgeous I was and finally headed back off into the club to do more of whatever it is gay-men-who-like-boobies do in gay clubs, leaving me stunned and slightly violated, but of course flattered to no end.
Since then, it seems as if every time I go into a gay club I get more action than my poor gay friends. There is always some guy trying to get me to dance with him, make out with him, or take me home. I have gay guys coming over to me telling me how cute and small I am, and how great my ass and tits are, and I KNOW these guys like dick, but they barely even pay any attention to my fabulous boys around me.
I wonder if they think I'm a Tranny. Oh well, at least I'm a convincing one, right?
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