More to Stalk

I've decided that is high time I give myself over to the internet... for real this time, though. I've dabbled with this blog as well as created a twitter account so the masses could stalk me, but aside from my usuals and the normal everyday creeper I've got nothin'.

Instead of being offended, and wondering what the hell is wrong with all of you out there, I looked within myself. I realized that five or six posts over the course of a year and a half (maybe 2) and the occasional Tweet is just not enough. I haven't given enough of myself for potential cyber stalkers to really take me serious, and that's just no fair.

So I'm sorry, potential creepers. I vow to give you more of my life, my words, my sass and my hilarity so that you have something to really cling to.

You must understand though, that it may take some time for me to really hook you. I can't just take off running and be as amazing as all of my favorites like The Bloggess, Marinka, and The Sassy Curmudgeon, or even a new found favorite, Sara but I will try.

I think the first step would be, of course, to post more often, which means that until I get in the habit of creating worth while posts, you'll have to suffer through my not so amazing posts, such as this one (in which I'm committing myself to giving you all a blogger who is not only regular but regularly stalkable... which I think is a HUMONGOUS promise and you should all just be friggin' happy with what I'm giving you, ya' greedy brats).

So stay tuned, and I'll be back on a regular basis... just you wait and see. I promise I'll give you more to stalk.

Its not me, its my planner.

Every day, I come home from work, which is horrible, or school which is ridiculous, completely drained, and I look at my planner. Something always looks off, and I begin to doubt my competence in correctly copying down due dates into the correct little boxes in my schedule. So I squint at my planner, and scratch my head and squint some more, and then finally, this tiny little 60 watt light bulb flicks on and I realize that what I need to do is get a second opinion, because surely nothing I see before me is real. So I take out all of the syllabi I have for this semester and I meticulously check each date on a green sheet against the date I've marked off on my calendar.

Every day I do this, I always expect to find that I've messed something up, and those two papers, three exams, five chapters, and four article researches aren't all due on the same damn day. I always expect to be instantly relieved of any and all tension and responsibility to get all seventeen billion tasks that say they're due tomorrow done in the three hours I have before my brain shuts off and readies itself for sleep.

I have visions of looking up from the sea of syllabi vindicated, "Aha! I was right. I messed everything up, but now, I am completely free to spend the rest of my night fucking around on facebook! I'm a genius!"

Everyday I am hopeful that that day will be the day I really did royally screw up the writing of my life.

Every day I am super disappointed as the stupid little green sheets always tell me, in a very mocking and unnecessary way, that I haven't messed anything up except for my time management.

But, really, isn't that my planner's fault? Its useless. It doesn't tell me anything except for when things are due. I feel, like the reason for its whole creation was to keep me on track of my life. Its supposed to decrease my procrastination. What good is it if it ONLY says "Marion, something that's going to take five hours to do, is due tomorrow, and so are five hundred equally time consuming things. Rest when you're dead."

THAT is not helpful. I think the people who created this whole planner thing are not as smart as they think they are. I wonder how they ever get anything done if they rely on their ill conceived and poorly functioning creation.

Note to self:

Marion,

Drinking two humongous cups of instant coffee in order to keep yourself up during your weekly hotline shift is no good. In fact, it may be on the top ten list of most horrible ideas you've ever had in 2010.

In case you forget, let me remind you that having those two horribly over sized cups of instant coffee made you: jittery, nauseous, tired, gassy, and bloated. None of those are fun things to be at 1:41 am, 20 minutes before you are off work and finally allowed to sleep. Horrible, horrible, bad idea. You are a real dumb ass.

Sincerely,

The currently over-caffeinated version of yourself

Readers, please let my life be an example so that you don't have to suffer the same fate. Do not drink that much instant coffee it will only lead to several hours of trying not to puke up your life, I promise.