Its not me, its my planner.

Every day, I come home from work, which is horrible, or school which is ridiculous, completely drained, and I look at my planner. Something always looks off, and I begin to doubt my competence in correctly copying down due dates into the correct little boxes in my schedule. So I squint at my planner, and scratch my head and squint some more, and then finally, this tiny little 60 watt light bulb flicks on and I realize that what I need to do is get a second opinion, because surely nothing I see before me is real. So I take out all of the syllabi I have for this semester and I meticulously check each date on a green sheet against the date I've marked off on my calendar.

Every day I do this, I always expect to find that I've messed something up, and those two papers, three exams, five chapters, and four article researches aren't all due on the same damn day. I always expect to be instantly relieved of any and all tension and responsibility to get all seventeen billion tasks that say they're due tomorrow done in the three hours I have before my brain shuts off and readies itself for sleep.

I have visions of looking up from the sea of syllabi vindicated, "Aha! I was right. I messed everything up, but now, I am completely free to spend the rest of my night fucking around on facebook! I'm a genius!"

Everyday I am hopeful that that day will be the day I really did royally screw up the writing of my life.

Every day I am super disappointed as the stupid little green sheets always tell me, in a very mocking and unnecessary way, that I haven't messed anything up except for my time management.

But, really, isn't that my planner's fault? Its useless. It doesn't tell me anything except for when things are due. I feel, like the reason for its whole creation was to keep me on track of my life. Its supposed to decrease my procrastination. What good is it if it ONLY says "Marion, something that's going to take five hours to do, is due tomorrow, and so are five hundred equally time consuming things. Rest when you're dead."

THAT is not helpful. I think the people who created this whole planner thing are not as smart as they think they are. I wonder how they ever get anything done if they rely on their ill conceived and poorly functioning creation.